


Lunch Break

by harpaax



Category: Borderlands, Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: April Fools Bodyswap, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6430444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harpaax/pseuds/harpaax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Man… the best I ever got was him spitting on me once. He was walking by and I was like, you know, just… there being spit on. I’m kinda jealous of the relationship you guys had.</p><p>-- Rhys, Ep. 2. <i>Atlas Mugged</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Lunch Break

**Author's Note:**

> So this was written for the April Fools Bodyswap challenge on tumblr; where content creators of fandoms swapped what they mainly worked with for the other.
> 
> Me? I draw. Probably too much, and I have not written fic in like, 7 years.
> 
> SO this was both a challenge, but also so incredibly fun - and I hope you guys enjoy!

There is one thing Rhys was certain that he missed about the Edens. Sure the ventilation system that kept Helios cool did their job, but there was nothing quite like the feeling of a nice, cool refreshing breeze sweeping gently over you after a long morning. A long morning where your co-workers were such _dicks_ , piling tonnes of backlog onto your desk to suffer through whilst _they_ decided to go for an early lunch. Sure, he complained, _loudly_ , but that only meant that it encouraged the snorts from Vasquez’s corner. Oh, it was a long morning. The temptation to just throw everything off of the desk reached such high levels, but he couldn’t just throw everything out of the window with his job. Vasquez, ever vigilant, had been watching, and there was no way Rhys was going to let him use anything against him for that promotion. It was his. Henderson hinted at such, and he wasn’t going to let anger take control, no matter how much he was seething.

 _God_ , he could seriously do with that breeze right now.

Thankfully the others had returned early, meaning that he was able to meet up with Vaughn at the usual spot. As he glanced around the Hub, he frowned at how unusually quiet the area was. The Hub of Heroism was usually flooded with people rushing to lunch at this time, had he missed something? His Echonet kept him up-to-date with the goings on in the space station, making sure that he and his little team didn’t get too caught up in drama, so surely not? Sighing, he nodded towards his bro. It looked like he could’ve done with a good breeze too.

“… and could you believe it? He said that to me, me! Of all the people,” Vaughn continued, throwing his hands in the air in dismay. “Of all the people in our branch, he expected _me_ to redo all his stupid reports for him. When he knows that I’ve got my own crap to handle, and definitely way too overqualified for this shit.”

Rhys stretched out, yawning, and smiled at the smaller man. “Well, you do love your numbers, bro.”

“Yes but, not that much, honestly man. Have some faith in me,” he scoffed. He looked down at this watch, and raised a brow. “How long did Yvette say she’d be again? Because I could seriously go for a coffee right now.”

“She said she’d only be a couple of minutes! She’s in requisitions, you know what they’re like – she’s probably had to sort out all this important tech or something else or another,” Rhys shrugged as he leaned back on the stairs, admiring the grand building in front of him. Well, it wasn’t just any old ‘grand’ building. It was the one which led up to _Handsome Jack_ ’s office. God. It was just so, thrilling to look at sometimes. Even whilst your friends laughed as you gawped at it most days. “Oh, you know, because honestly – I don’t, bro. All I know for certain is that she’s paid well.”

“And yet you _still_ end up buying her lunch all the time.”

“Yes well! It’s Yvette, who wouldn’t. Plus, she’d get the money from me one way or another, and I’d rather be in control of wh… uh,” Rhys began to trail off, frowning. As he and Vaughn talked, he realised that the elevator had been on a slow decline towards their current level. The members of the Board and top level execs were usually the only ones with authorised access to it, but they were currently in a meeting discussing how they were supposed to present info about Hyperion’s current developments to the CEO – without resulting in any deaths. You know, the usual stuff. And the aforementioned CEO was known to stick to his office most days, watching the security feeds of Pandora and taunting the vault hunters from his Chair.

So the possibility of this being… of this being _Handsome Jack_ , was low. Right?

“Bro?”

_Right?_

“Hellooo, Helios to Rhys.”

The elevator, only a few meters in front of where they were seated, ground to a halt.

“Rhys?”

And as the doors began to open, Rhys paled. “Uh, I… oh my god Va _ughn_.”

Rhys was so _screwed_.

As his eyes widened, he sat straight, staring in awe towards the doors as the man himself, Handsome Jack – oh god _the_ Handsome Jack – stepped out, grinning at his echo.

Sure, Rhys has seen the man about the station countless of times – heard his voice hammering through the comm system as he lectured on about bandits and the usual crap, and it’s not like Rhys was … _obsessed_ about him, okay. Those posters were company ISSUED. Even if it involved him… tactically removing them from the break room, but _still_. He was not obsessed, he just, strongly admired the man, and-

“RHYS,” Vaughn grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to look at him. The only response he got back was a blink. “Bro, seriously, what’s up? I’ve never seen you act like this, unless, like, Handsome Jack’s around, but he’s never around these days. Especially with all the vault hunter business and all that shit happening down on Pandora, so- Rhys? What on Elpis are you looking at.”

Vaughn turned to look where Rhys had been nervously staring at.

“ _Oh_ ,” he said softly. “Handsome Jack.”

They were _both_ so screwed.

He turned back to face Rhys, who had grown even paler. Okay yes, again, they have been in the same room as the CEO before. But when the Hub was so empty? With just those two sat in the centre of the main area, and some loader bots cleaning at the side? The presence of the other was a lot more… intimidating, to say the least. As Rhys kept staring towards him, he accidentally caught the eye of the other as he looked up from his Echo device. Oh _shit_.

And that grin on his face grew even wider as he made his way towards them.

Rhys bolted upwards, standing immediately whilst Vaughn fumbled.

_Oh my god it’s Han-_

  _“-_ dsome Jack, Sir, I-!” Rhys stuttered out as the CEO halted in front of him. He grinned.

“Uh huh,” raising an eyebrow, Handsome Jack - Handsome Jac _k, it’s Handsome Jack oh my g-_ tilted his head towards the two cowering men before him. “’Sup, kiddos.”

And just as he appeared, he continued walking past them. But- but not before he grinned that shark smile once more, inhaled and-

 

A _nd_ -

  

Spat directly on Rhys.

 

Rhys blinked as he watched the CEO saunter off on whatever business he had that day, acting as though it was just a simple gesture. He… he- Handsome Jack just…

 

He blinked again, raising a hand to where it had hit his cheek.

 

 

Handsome Jack just _spat_ on him.

 

 

“Vaughn, I…”

“Oh my god, did he just spit on you? Rhys, he seriously just spa-”

“I don’t ever want to wash this cheek again, bro.”

“ _RHYS_.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am not good at naming things, okay.
> 
> this was originally posted to tumblr, which you can [find here](http://harpaax.tumblr.com/post/142036075407/rating-g-pairing-none-ha-summary-man-the)!


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